i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
