I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
