Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize