you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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