If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
