dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
