Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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