fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
