some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
