in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
