Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
