im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
the liver wants what the liver wants
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
