Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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