Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
