Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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