Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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