youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
