SEEEEXXX PLEASE
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
