we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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