So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
