bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
