Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
