i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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