i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
