Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
