the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
