I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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