Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
