My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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