i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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