i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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