you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
