she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
