I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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