I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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