i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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