Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
