dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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