so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
