dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
