Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
