Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
vagina is talking i cant
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
