marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize