i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
