I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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