I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
