You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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