when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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