My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
