I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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